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May 31 The Father!Delhi Metro clock showed it was 9.50pm, an almost empty train arrived at the Dwarka Sector 9 station. The Rainlover boarded the train. Very few faces were there and most of the eyes were concentrating on a beautiful girl deliberately standing (all the empty seats notwithstanding) by a handsome guy. The Rainlover found it funny, almost everyone was giving a stealing glance or two to the girl and the girl seemed to enjoy it. "Delhi" - the Rainlover sighed! But just at the opposite of the Rainlover a gentleman was sitting alone with a green packet on his lap. His dress visibly declared that he was a Metro train driver. Yes, he was in his uniform. He was staring at him plum, probably with a quest to find out own fate-tale. He was cleanly shaved, nicely combed and his shoes were neatly polished. At Dwarka Sector 10 station, a lady got up with a yelling baby and two heavy bags. Almost instantly, the gentleman stood up, moved ahead, took both the bags from her and carefully placed them next to him. The lady was visibly uneducated, so a polished superficial "Thank you" didn’t appear - thankfully! Moreover, the baby was yelling at the top of her voice which attracted a lot of "What-the-hell" looks from people around - as if they don’t have baby back home or they were never at that stage themselves. Anyhow, the lady had somehow managed by that time. But the real sight was the gentleman, whose chest plate declared his name to be Vaibhav Tripathi. Mr. Tripathi was staring at the baby with utmost care and love. He was playing with her hands and was teaching her how to clap. The baby got the fun and stopped crying. The lady also joined. It was indeed a great sight to see parental love from a stranger. The lady got down from the station at Dwarka More. Mr. Tripathi was all alone again, but not for long! The Rainlover moved ahead to sit right next to him. Mr. Tripathi greeted him with a gentle smile. Without any introduction, the Rainlover straightway came to the point - "Going home?" Mr. Tripathi smiled, "Yes." "It was a long day…?!" the Rainlover asked. Mr. Tripathi was smiling, "Long and tiring." The Rainlover said, "Such an important job you do, but mostly…" he deliberately left it unfinished. Mr. Tripathi took up, "Mostly…?" The Rainlover smiled, "Mostly alone." The man started laughing, "Yes, none sits by the driver!" But suddenly his face was straight, "I miss people." Indeed, the facilitator serves so many people - mostly alone! Mr. Tripathi says, "It's only when I come to job and go back from it, I meet people." He uttered the word people with such care that it was impossible to miss that. The Rainlover said, "You seem to be very fond of kids." Mr. Tripathi nodded instantly, "Oh yes, I just love them." The Rainlover asked, "But I guess you don’t get much time to spend with your kids." The environment suddenly changed. Mr Tripathi took his eyes away from the Rainlover. A strange guilt feeling seized the Rainlover - did he just say something wrong? Something that might have hurt this gentleman! The Rainlover politely asked, "Sorry, but did I say anything wrong?" Mr. Tripathi forced a smile and said, "I don’t miss my kids." After a pause, he added, "Because I don’t have any kid!" May 19 ~Over a Smoke~It's the balcony of the new house that the Rainlover is very proud of. Now spending at least 1-2 hours at dead night on that balcony, with beautiful music accompanying him, has become a daily routine for him. That night also wasn’t an exception. It was somewhere around 1.30 at night; the Rainlover was on his chair watching the quiet Delhi night, in slumber, in front of him. Just in front of his house, a small triangular park was resting in silence. The breeze was soothing and the trees of the park were responding with a smile by nodding their heads as the breeze was caressing them - as if expressing the happiness of silent and natural romance! Suddenly, the Rainlover could see an all-white body emerging out of the darkness. It was an aged man with a white head, white kurta and white pajama - he reached a bench in the park, silently observed it for a while, cleaned it a bit with his palm and sat down. He was looking at his own feet. Though, his face wasn’t visible for that afar, yet the Rainlover could visualise the senior citizen's not-so-happy state of mind. The gentleman put his hand inside the pocket, brought out a cigarette packet from his pocket, brought out a cigarette from the packet, stood up, reached out for his pocket again, then the other pocket… sighed a bit… and sat down! He must've forgotten his lighter! Being a smoker himself, the Rainlover could feel the agony the gentleman was going through with a helplessly unlighted cigarette in his hand! The Rainlover didn’t think twice, checked his own pockets and with a brief smile, took the stairs. "I don’t smoke much… but…" the gentleman finished his unfinished sentence with a shy smile. The Rainlover said, "Happens." The gentleman took a puff in, let the smoke come out and sighed, "These days… health doesn’t permit. But you see, in those good old days, I've spent such intimate moments with my cigarettes that I haven’t spent even with my own people!" The Rainlover agreed again, "That's true…" The gentleman continued without any provocation or inspiration, "I was married for 2 years at your age… you must be 25-26.. right?" Then he answered himself, "Yes, I think so… are you married?" Before the Rainlover could manage an excuse to justify his single-hood or any alternate topic to get engaged into, the gentleman answered, "I don’t think you're married… then you mustn’t have come down to offer a lighter to this old fellow… if you were married, by this time you would have been…" then he started laughing heavily with at his own joke! Looking at the empty street ahead, the man sighed again, "You know, I love my wife. Initially, when both of our parents forcefully got us married, I wasn’t happy. I used to feel irritated a lot. But she was different… her silence and patience had power, you know! She was so magnetic with her silence… and when she gave me Akash (son), I can't explain it to you… for the first time, I realised what love is!" The gentleman needed some moments of his own, so the Rainlover didn’t ask anything. With another sigh, followed by a cute smile, the man said, "When Akriti (daughter) got married and Akash shifted to Bombay with his family, my wife became my whole world, you know! Only a retired man can appreciate the value of a life-partner!" Then he started coining his own words, "Life-partner! A partner for a life…. throughout the life… and then suddenly…" The Rainlover urged, "Suddenly??" The gentleman looked happy, yet lost - "Suddenly, young man, LIFE ENDS!" The atmosphere, like the Rainlover, was clueless… the man was looking straight into the eyes of the Rainlover. The Rainlover couldn’t manage any word to break the uncomfortable silence, but the experienced fellow did - "She died last year - cancer!" The Rainlover was looking at the burning cigarette butt on the grass… the man got up and sighed, "Today is our marriage anniversary!" He moved on, with a smile… after a while, the Rainlover got up and moved on!
May 16 Swift Swing!The rain was in so beautiful. Each drop was setting a cold fire inside his heart. He knew it'll pain… he knew it'll be tough… he knew it'll be deep! He imagined the face… closed eyes, wet hairs, sloppy body and a beautiful touch of a gentle smile! 'Heaven' - he uttered! He reached out for his whiskey. Large one… slight soda… two pieces of ice. He felt thirsty, yet he waited. He reached out for the glass, held it up… the ice floating. He stretched back on his chair, stretched his legs forward… drops of rain mixing with the whiskey! 'Heaven' - he uttered. He was completely wet. The hot night needed some cold touches. Drops of rain were floating slowing and silently through his hairs. He was already drunk. He took the glass up to his lips… sipped it inside. A cold wave ran through his throat. 'Heaven' - he uttered! He spread his arms. The coldness touched him. He brought it nearer… shining! He stretched left arm forward, touched the skin, suddenly warm! The right arm held the glass till it was completely finished. Then it reached out for that… took it right on the left arm. 60 degree angle! A gentle smile, a quick sigh, few smart tears and… a swift swing… simply painless bleeding… he left the blade! Went on watching the blood for a while; then looked up at the sky… Rain drops straight on his face… 'Heaven' - he uttered!
May 05 Confident Loneliness!Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us Steps taken forwards but sleepwalking back again
The words of Pink Floyd were setting fire in The Rainlover's mind. He wasn’t sure whether his vision was getting wider or was shrinking narrower. All he could make out of the breezy night that something uncanny is holding him with himself. He tried to explain it to his friends in a different note! He said, "it's actually confident loneliness!" "Confident loneliness"! What's that? He explained, "Generally, loneliness pains. On general occasions, people reach out for others while they are alone, because they assume their loneliness to be unjustified, something that, may be, they don’t deserve." But "Confident loneliness"? The Rainlover asserted, "Well, it's a state of mind that resembles with solo mental paralysis…. In this case, the lonely person no longer reaches out for anyone anymore, because he finds his loneliness to be justified and well deserved! What more, it's very rewarding as well!" Frankly asking, for all the 'been there seen that' people, what has loneliness to do with others? Why loneliness stands as a state of being which is marked with others' absence? Why do we always make it 'relative'? Why do we always tend to conclude that, one is lonely if there aren't people around him/her with whom he/she can share his/her intimate or 'sideway' feelings? The Rainlover personally feels it to be an 'error of judgement caused by over-simplifying psychological poral syndrome'!
Relax
Now there you are! Pink Floyd explains this 'Confident Loneliness' as a state to be 'Comfortably Numb'… but one wonders, because of 'God-knows-what-prompted-reason(s)' they put forward the childhood resemblance of the simple-complexity stating "When I was a chind, I had a fever"! Well, this fever is stated differently by William Wordsworth. He reather glorified it -
There was a time when meadow, grove, and stream, The earth, and every common sight, To me did seem Apparell'd in celestial light, The glory and the freshness of a dream. It is not now as it hath been of yore;— Turn wheresoe'er I may, By night or day, The things which I have seen I now can see no more.
Not only this, he goes on to say -
Thanks to the human heart by which we live, Thanks to its tenderness, its joys, and fears, To me the meanest flower that blows can give Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.
Now that's weird, isn't it. The Rainlover will always wonder, why such a profound truth about 'oneness' again and again is de-meaned by relativity! Why loneliness as a state of mind can't be singular? Why can't it be 'oneness'? Are we so damn pluralists deep inside? Are we so democratically conjugate from heart that we almost always sucessfully end up adding sighs to oneness? Well, the Rainlover wants the learned souls to have a debate on it. He never intends to say that plurarism is bad or associations are only safe-guards, but what he essentially wants to put forward is that - as 'I'm with my friends' brings gentle smile on our faces, what wrong 'I'm with myself' has done then? Is the reward on the latter case is of lower value? Well, frankly speaking, it's exactly the other way round. Creativity or achievement is mostly an impulsive reward… if that reward can come through others' association, it can very well come through oneness as well… and through ownness for sure! All in all, the Rainlover firmly believes that pure sense of association with OTHERS with the right singular spirit is always welcome, but let's not reach out for others only because we're incomplete and lost inside! Let's not make our friends the Fill-Ups! And if we do that, which is very normal humane in nature, let's be humane enough and extend to guts to accept it, even before using it! Because, you know what, the same Pink Flod sing "Don't Leave Me Now" and "Wish You Were Here"… But thankfully, they extend their guts by saying -
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
The blog essentially is trying to portray the mental swings the Rainlover is going through currently… not meant to exhibit any un-called-for Gyaan. Taking it otherwise is readers' personal choice, the Rainlover would then be just an excuse for that!
God Bless You! EnjoY~ April 28 let's see!Hi..
Isn't LET'S SEE a beautiful expression... so safe it is...
safety is also highly non-controversial!
so.... LET'S SEE!!!
April 01 this is it!Yes, I guess..... THIS IS IT!
This is where it ends...........
ThanQ for the smile....
Now this wonderer starts an aimless new journey.........
EnjoY~ ;) February 18 BHAI PHOTA!My Dear Phool-da, When this letter will reach you, after couple of days to that, it'll be 7th - Bhai-phota. I'm sending phota for you in this letter. Let there be no evil in your life. You're fine, right? the wind is chilly now. After Durga Puja, the season takes a new swing. The sun minimises its temper. The sky is spotless bright. Did you like the kurta I sent to you before puja? Phool-da, nothing seems nice after you're left. When you were here, in those last days, so many troubles and fights came up. At deep night, when I used to go up to the terrace to see you once, you used to sleep like a kid. The moonlight used to fall on your childish beautiful face through the window. You looked so good. Now I feel so miserable. You tell me, what else can I do? What am I? What is my power? How can I explain how much it pained me to feel that I couldn’t keep you here? That rainy day still sets fire in my mind, Phool-da! Each scene is so vivid till now! Endless rain was washing away everything….your friends were gathered at the main gate. Everyone in our family was crying. Maa was breaking into pieces, Baba had lost his mind… clueless, aimless... torn apart. Sejo-Mama was busy, packing your stuff. A Maruti van was waiting outside the gate. In last three months your insanity had crossed all barriers. It became a cause of worry to everyone. So much so that the doctor advised us to take you to Kalyanpur - in asylum! Still I can see, you were staring with beautiful, yet void eyes. Your childhood friend, your dear friend Sujan-da was taking you slowly… to take you to the car! The entire colony was relishing the painful drama of our family. The mad son of Sen Babu was being taken to the asylum - what a rare spectacle! I was crying like crazy from the balcony! I wasn’t allowed to step down. It was me whom you used to love the most, Phool-da! It was raining heavily. Enthusiastic crowd was flooding everyone - everyone was having fun - rain couldn’t stop them. You sat inside the car - blank eyes. Sejo-Mama at one side, Sujan-da on the other - Baba took me there… holding my hands… I came in front of you. Baba's eyes were wet, speechless. Sujan-da stirred you, told you - 'Babu, Babu, see Babu… your Brishti has come to see you. Tell her goodbye!' Phool-da, you used to call me by Brishti! But you didn’t even look at me! I went on shouting - 'Phool-da! Phool-da!' you couldn’t hear my voice! You were dumbstruck like a stone - blank eyes… Baba said, 'Babu, your little sister has come… to see you off… look at her once, look at her.' You were motionless. The car left for Kalyanpur through foggy raindrops… my mad Phool-da left his home! The entire house was breaking to tears like the sky of that day. It's been so long since you've left Phool-da… it's been four long years! The Maa who used to be so lively before, used to sing along in the entire house and used to do the household works like an addict, that Maa doesn’t sing anymore! She can't do her work with that perfection anymore. She just cries every time it rains… she cries a lot. Phool-da, do you remember the photograph that was taken after you won the first prize in the school championship? Maa keeps that photograph under her pillow always. She touches that, kisses that…and…and breaks into tears. Phool-da, it's been four years that you've left. The world around us has changed so much in these four years… Choto-Maashi got married, after Sejo-Mama has retired… his son Manik has got a job in that office only, the rooms of our second floor are complete now… now Maa and I stay in the southern room of the second floor. A new bike is bought, cooks are hired… But Baba is somehow quiet these days… doesn’t talk much like the old days… as if he's too old now… Phool-da, your room at the terrace is locked till now… none opens that… none of us enters into that. You used to study in that room, used to paint, used to sing… what a beautiful voice you had Phool-da… Phool-da, do you remember, once in Rabindrajayanti, you sang in the local function - "Aji jhader raate tomar abhishaap… paran shokha, Bandhu hey amaar…"? Do you still remember Phool-da, everyone was so amazed to hear your song? I'd heard Baba telling Maa, "My son is a bit vagabond, but sings soooo nice!" And your paintings… those beautifully awesome paintings… they are now set in the drawing room… How could you paint so beautifully, Phool-da? You never learnt them from anyone.. neither singing, nor painting! Then how could you do those so beautifully? Your friends were so proud of you.. proud of your singing… paintings… you left home leaving all those behind. We've been to Kalyanpur so many times… shades of green, shadows of green… it's a semi-urban village… far away from Kolkata… so many trees, so many ponds, so many birds… and your campus is also so beautiful, so quiet, so peaceful… Dr. Samanta is your doctor.. nationally famous doctor. He's known for his great skill to cure the mentally misbalanced people. You're far better now… not like the initial days. Now you don’t jump around anymore, don’t shout that frighteningly anymore… but you do whisper sometimes… you say something.. you try to say something… they try, but can't understood even a single word of it! They say, you're silent most of the time… Phool-da, you were entirely different a man before. You used to look so handsome while smiling… you used to laugh with your heart out. Remember, you took me once to a mela? We rode the sings and I was frightened to death. But you were just laughing and laughing… I was sitting with closed eyes, your hands tightly held… after we got down, you patted on my head and said, 'Pagli! What's there to fear so much? Am I not here with you?' Where Phool-da? Where are you now? I'm even more scared these days… Baba is almost down, Maa is so fragile now… as if someone has robbed this family's peace and happiness… all smiles, joys…life… all is robbed! I'm scared, too scared Phool-da… You used to love a wild girl. I knew it. You didn’t tell me ever… but I knew it! Actually Pritha could never understand you… she wasn’t worth it ever. Your king-like beauty, that divine a voice, that beautiful a sense of art… these are all that attracted Pritha. But her main attraction was rich businessman Bijan Chawdhury! She had secret relationship with him… she kept it secret from you. You never knew it… and when you finally came to know it, then it was a disaster by then! Unmarried Pritha was pregnant by then… Pritha put the responsibility of it on your shoulder! My that song-loving, art-loving Phool-da got an identity of a characterless criminal in front of the whole locality.. whole society! None knew where you were for next 7 days… everyone was clueless… Pritha's brothers had humiliated you in front of the whole locality.. they thrashed you like a thief is thrashed… you couldn’t tolerate that pain, that blow, that humiliation! After 7 days, you were found in railway station… senseless in high fever. Police picked you up, they left you at home… by then, you were complete mad.. couldn’t recognise anyone! What a time it was! So many doctors, so many people, jumping around everyone… but your insanity gradually intensified…. Phool-da, the one took your life away has a nice life now. Money power has washed away all the stains from her body, but Phool-da, you lost everything… your song unfinished, your paintings lost their colours… all the lights on Sen House are dark now.. they are stained now… Phool-da, nothing seems right without you, my brother… I can hear you singing… you voice still floats in the winds on this house. Phool-da, please be fine soon, just like the old days… pleaseeee… so many miracles happen in this world, why can't one happen to you? You know, now a days I dream, that Maruti Van has come in front of the main gate, it's raining… the entire locality is lifeless.. you're stepping down from the car… with a smile.. smiling face… that smile…that was erased from your lips on a cursed moment … some four years back.. you get down from the car and start shouting - "Brishti, ei Brishti… you stupid, can't you see me getting wet.. bring an umbrella at once… Maa, o' Maa… which fish is there in kitchen today? What's there in the menu? I'm so hungry!"….. Phool-da, can't it happen? Phool-da, will it never happen? Phool-da, here is the phota on your forehead.. Bhai-Phota! - ""Bhaiyer kapale dilaam phota… jaamer duyaare podlo kaanta… jaam jemon amar, amaar bhai-o jeno temon amar hai… Bhaiyer kapale dilaam phota...""
Your beloved sister, Brishti… February 12 TO THE REVOLUTION...I got to see you after long… after a really long time. It seemed like decades, you know! Yesterday, the entire Circus Maidan was flooded by crowd. Huge stage… light and flags were all over the entire city… yesterday, all roads led to Maidan, where the centre of all attraction and excitements were you! I got to see you after long… after a really long time! You've changed a lot… slight golden hue in your hairs, heavy glasses and a nice wealthy touch in your appearance… When you were delivering your speech in that ignited voice, the fierce speed and heavenly modulation of your tone were setting fire to the whole ground - excitement, amazement everywhere. You were talking about nation, caste, religion - so many things - what a great compelling speech you can deliver! Behind the crowd, away from them, at the corner of the ground, under the darkish shade…it was me standing and watching you… yes, I also was amazed by the great analysis you were offering about India, her past, present and future… what a lecture. I got to see you after long… after a really long time. If this enthusiastic crowd, excited city can't, then how can this token of a semi-urban town escape your charm? Yes, I also was totally into your greatness. You might've forgotten, but I've remembered. Those were the dark hours of heated politics. In one such hour, being chased by the police and opponents, you escaped and took shelter in our small town Palashpur. My lower class, honest, idealist, school teacher father risked his life to obey the party's command and opened the doors of our shabby hut for you - to shelter you! It was an outrageous courage for a poor school teacher. You took refuge from the heated, bloody and nasty politics of Kolkata..you took refuge in Palashpur. Your big beautiful eyes, demanding and courageous words, and numerous brave tales about you heard from my father - all these tied you tightly with my just-young heart. It feels so strange about that bond! Remember, in those deep nights, wrapped in a blanket, sitting on the bed, inside our house lit by a dim hurricane lamp, you used to talk about China, Vietnam, Soviet…Che, Kastro, struggle, revolution? Don’t know when, perhaps unconsciously, I used to start whispering in those half-spoken words - "With revolution in heart, I'm Lenin!" But one day you left! As autumn moves on leaving Puja's beautiful brightness behind, as a train moves on leaving an unknown rural station behind, as a wave moves on leaving the call of the shore behind… you also moved on and left a heart full of excitement for me… a heart full of hope for me… a heart full of love for me… my entire consciousness following you… but you moved on! When the sand, stone, silence, storm, loneliness of this semi-urban town had taken your face for me, you moved on. And what was left was your natural assurance of coming back to take me with you. My father used to bring your news… from a student leader to youth leader, from youth leader to even bigger leader - the graph of your life was soaring northward… your popularity transcended Kolkata and spread all over Bengal… you hardly had time for yourself - after all, such a busy person you were. Newspapers, TV, radio etc sometimes brought you near to me, but you as a person never came back. The state of affairs has changed. One day, you'd fought to bring revolution to this system… you gave me hours long heated speech against the system… but gradually the same you have entered into the blocks of the same system - quite easily. Quite easily you people have scrapped the word 'revolution' from your dictionary. Then the sweetness of the same system and the brightness of the same state have changed you upside down… Dear leader, when you couldn’t change the time, all of you changed yourselves. That change was first felt by me when I looked at my father's face… that day, he came back from Kolkata and told my mother - "Amaar sob swapno bhenge churmaar hoye gelo go!" (All my dreams are shattered, my dear!") After saying this, my old helpless father broke into tears. Dear leader, I know you're really busy. But I'm sure you've not forgotten the mean words that you'd used on that day to humiliate and throw my poor helpless father away… what a behaviour you'd exhibited dear leader. My poor father had gone there only to remind you the promise that you'd once made… idealist, honest, school teacher father had believed that the words of your lips to be the words of your heart. The idealist busy political life's excuse you'd used, my idealist father had believed in that. Before you left, it got disclosed… my mother came to know, my father came to know - my shameless love, endless respect and ceaseless devotion for you had made me easily available for you. You took that opportunity oh revolutionary, and your child found my wombs to rest in! You promised my father that once the turmoil of heated politics cools down a but, you would come to me, will marry me, will take me… with you… forever! No, you didn’t keep your promise. Not keeping one's promise is the key to succeed in politics - you'd learnt this truth in those early days itself. We tried, but you never accepted your responsibility behind my bleeding wombs… you must be knowing how you paid off the debt of a courageous school teacher of Palashpur - yes, you've paid of his debt through even more courageous humiliation… Society is still the society. Lot might change around us, but the middleclass mindset hasn’t changed yet. So your political wind might've cooled down, but for me, deep inside the cyclone was gradually intensifying. My house, family, life - everything was shattered… what an unbearable pain and intolerable self-hatred I felt to kill one little life that even hadn’t seen a ray of life! Only I and my tears felt that agony. My father had to go - a defeated soldier has no place in the plot - so heart-attack became an excuse. My mother was dumbstruck, speechless.. she still is! But you were climbing the stairs of growth by then.. from student leader to youth leader, from youth leader to party leader, from party leader to MLA, from MLA to…. Sky was the limit for you, right? I mean, when, where, you had some unintended closeness with what an unknown and simple middle class girl - that absolutely isn’t something that you should've bothered about! Where is the time to remember that? Why to remember that? Humanity? Conscience? Love? Huh! These are all parts of speech - to be uttered to fool a bunch of already fooled fools! What will happen to career if someone seriously gets into all these funny sentiments? That's why dear revolutionary leader, at one hand you became bigger and bigger and I turned smaller and smaller - to my father, to my mother, to my self.. smaller and smaller… Then? Then many seasoned have come and gone. Your wife, your children - I know them all - have seen them many time on newspapers, TV… they're so beautiful, like you… very bright, nothing rural about them! I got to see you after long… after a really long time….got to see you yesterday. Your words still have the same determination, hope, courage, guts, enthusiasm.. the repeated clappings proved its quality. You know, once I'd cried a lot, pained a lot and out of humiliation, dishonour, anger and hatred I've even wished death for you! When love is humiliated - it pains - and I've felt the bitter pain inside. But yesterday, after seeing you, after thinking so many things, all my long-cherished pain, anger and hatred were suddenly vanished! They just vanished! I felt - you haven’t cheated me only - it's not only me who is the victim of your treachery - you've cheated and are cheating the whole nation! You are running so hard with your selfish needs burning inside you. You talk about the poor, shed tears for the poor in public, shout with developmental propaganda… but actually you are looking for personal happiness. Your daughter is in expensive English medium school, your son plays games in expensive computer, your wife has so many expensive gadgets in her kitchen, from your glasses to your shoes - everything is so rare, so expensive… still, you're a LEADER OF THE POOR! oh poor…. You know, when I was compelled to kill an innocent unborn baby, my entire existence was crying with me, hauling with me, bleeding with me… but yesterday, while listening to your repeated, ornamented and shameless lies, I felt, perhaps it's good that the baby wasn’t born… if not anything, it had your blood in it… No… at least I've not gifted one more Meerzafaar to India… at least I've not gifted one more treacher to India… And you know, only for this joy and relief, my heart is suddenly so burdenless since yesterday... I'm feeling so light!... What a revolution I just went through! February 04 BRISHTI....TOMAR JANYOIt was raining! The entire nature starts dancing when it rains in the village. The Rainlover quickly took a bi-cycle and started riding with beautiful raindrops showering all over him. He passed by the old school where he was built once, he passed by the school's hostel where he'd tried first smoke, he passed by the playing ground where he first injured his right knee badly in a game of football and of course he passed by the beautiful people whose presence itself makes him feel – 'It’s good to be home!' But all this nostalgic intoxication came to an abrupt halt when a man just jumped over him shouting 'Thamo! Thamo!' (Stop! Stop!) Surprised, the Rainlover, looked at the man. He was a mess! His lanky naked body had mud all over. It seemed as if he had slipped and fallen on the wet mud many times before he chose to give a ‘surprise hug’ to the Rainlover. His mud-stained green lungi also stood as a testimony to his paradise lost! But all observation went for a toss when the man resumed shouting – ‘Tumi ki haater dik theke ascho?’ (Are you coming from the market?) ‘Yes…’ said the Rainlover. ‘Have you seen a woman with a kid? Anywhere? In the market… or on the way… or anywhere?’ the man’s voice revealed he was about to cry. Tears were unidentifiable because of the raindrops. But as the man hurriedly spoke, the Rainlover could smell the real source behind all emotions – alcohol! It was the same old story. Yet, to justify, he asked, ‘Is this regular? Regular drinking… Regular wife-slashing… being drunk? Good that she’s left you.’ The man’s voice cracked again – ‘No… it’s only today…’ ‘Yeah.. yeah’ the Rainlover was convinced. The man repeated his question, the Rainlover tried to think, but couldn’t remember if he had seen the woman with a kid. The man’s expression changed. He started running. The Rainlover saw the man seized the hands of another person who was coming from the same direction. He was shaking his hands… as if the stranger was the last hope for him. But that man also shook his head – he also hadn’t seen anyone of that sort! The Rainlover thought of resuming his rain loving, but something struck him. So he rode to the puzzled man and said, ‘Come up…’ Then two of them started riding towards the bus stop. Through out the man went on chanting, ‘Aamr e bhool…. Aamar e bhool!’ (It’s my fault!) It was noon, that too rainy noon… so almost all the shops near the bus stand were closed. They saw only a sweet shop was open. The man ran to that shop… the Rainlover followed. Before the Rainlover could even reach there, the man came out shouting – ‘He has seen her… she bought few sweets for the kid… oh God… they have gone to the station by bus!’ Bus? So the Rainlover kept the bi-cycle to the shop owner. It was pointless to wait for the next bus as the service isn’t that frequent. While the Rainlover was thinking what to be done, he saw the man started running on the main road – god, he was trying to stop a speedy truck! Fortunately, the truck stopped well afar before it could hit the man. The driver brought out his head and threw some 4-5 coded adjectives to the man. But the man went straight to him and started requesting to take him to the station. One drunkard knows another one very well… so the truck driver rejected all his requests. The Rainlover approached and requested the truck driver. Repeated requests from a sensible (!) person somehow pacified the fire in the tone of the truck driver. But he was still not ready, while the sweet shop owner came out and shouted, ‘Niye ja na baba’ (Please take them, dear)! It worked, and within some 10 minutes the reached the station. The man jumped down and ran towards the booking office. The Rainlover brought out his wallet and held a Rs 50 note saying ‘Thank you.’ The driver smiled and said, ‘No need… are you his brother?’ The Rainlover smiled, and turned towards the booking office. The man was still running. He said, ‘The man in the ticket window is saying that he just sat on the chair. The guy before him isn’t present right now! What to do?’ ‘Let’s check the platforms… if…’ before the Rainlover could finish, he saw the man jumping up the stairs… the Rainlover also chased him…. The man was running on the over bridge, with the Rainlover doing the same behind him. Suddenly he stopped, narrowed his vision to one of the platforms and started clappig… ‘Oi to… oi to…’ (there she is!) It was the first time when the Rainlover saw a man clapping like a kid after finding his woman! The man ran to her, the Rainlover also felt to do the same… it was part of his ‘achievement’ by then… but he stopped at the edge of the over bridge to cherish the following! He saw the man ran to her, took the kid and went on kissing the little face for a while. The wife got up and started shouting… the Rainlover couldn’t hear what the man said to his woman and for next 10 minutes, he could hear only the wife to do the talking. People had gathered, few of them scolded the man, few of them requested the woman, and few of them were just having a good time! But after the prolonged tryst, the man did manage to bring a glimpse of smile on his woman’s face! Oh, that smile… what an achievement! The Rainlover was about to clap from the over bridge, but managed to control himself. With the smile of a winner, the man took his wife and started walking… the Rainlover intentionally placed himself behind a thick pillar so that the man couldn’t spot him… the picture was so perfect in itself… when they came near, the Rainlover heard the wife frowning, ‘Dasha dekho? Sara gayee kaada’... (Look at yourself… mud all over…) The man replied, ‘Tomar Janyo!’ (For you!) January 22 AWAY~Well, sorry friends.... The Rainlover is away for couple of days... was supposed to enjoy holidays after 1 and a half years... but currently working from Kolkata office But he's making it up by roaming here and there and gathering all diamonds possibe... he'll definitely share couple of such diamonds with you ... hope you would like them! Till then.. love you.. and definitely miss you! God Bless You EnjoY~ January 07 Q+U+E+S+TWhen I stands shattered, I look for We! When I stands alone, I look for You! When I stands unsheltered, I look for Him! When I stands empty, I look for Her! When I stands accused, I look for Them! When I stands bleeding, I look for I!
Well, resolutuion time... will take time December 15 HE-HE-&-HEThe auto-rickshaw stopped at the red signal. They all got up and neared the vehicles standing. They had put on the crying sad faces and started fingering the window glasses of the cars. But he was still, didn’t move an inch. He had right hand placed on the crutch laid beside and the with the right arm he was tossing a coin into the air. He was barely wearing anything. But the Rainlover somehow liked his appearance. There was a sense of originality in that. He wasn’t trying fake emotions to try and look like a beggar. He, justifiably was a beggar… effortlessly. The Rainlover found it really amusing. Meanwhile, the red signal turned green and auto pushed off. The Rainlover had something else going on in his head while he carelessly asked the auto-driver to stop the auto and to wait for him - 'I will be back in 2 minutes!' Before the alarmed auto-driver could say anything, the Rainlover had ran passed the crossing and stood straight in front of the boy. He was still sitting there! The Rainlover smiled at the beggar boy and asked - 'Free hai kya?' (Are you free?) The boy had thousand questions in his eyes, but his tongue supported only one to come out - 'Kya?' (What?) - Free hai kya? (Are you free?) - Keu? (Why?) - Free hai toh chalte hai…(Let's go if you're free… ) - Pagal ho kya? (Are you mad?) - Thoda sa.. (A bit) Then giving any further chance to the boy to talk, the Rainlover seized his crutch, placed it right under the right arm and said, 'adhe ghante mein wapas chor jaunga' (I'll drop you back within half an hour). The boy started smiling… - Naam kya hai tera? (What's your name?) - Waise to naam hai Rajan, lekin pyaar se log mujhe Raja kehte hai.. (The name is Rajan, but people love to call me Raja..) - Toh Raja-ji, kya khana pasand karenge aap? (So Raja, what would you like to have?) - Matlab..? (meaning..?) - Chinese? Italian? Mexican? Or Indian? - Eh sab khane ka naam hai? (Are these foods' names?) - Ji..Kya khayenge aap? (Yes.. What would you like to have?) - Pav Bhaaji… - Pav Bhaaji? - Keun, tujhe pasand nehin hai kya? (Why, don't you like it?) - Pasand hai… (I do like it…) The Rainlover asked the auto-driver to stop the auto near a Agarwal's Sweet store where they intended to have Pav Bhaaji! When the passengers got off, the auto driver checked the meter and said - 'Sixty!' The Rainlover chuckled, 'Chalo na, tumhe bhukh nehin hai kya…. Chalo..' (Come up, aren’t you hungry, come up..) The auto driver was puzzled, when Raja ordered, 'Aja yaar… aja aja' (Come up dude.. come, come)! What a combination was sitting on the table that afternoon. A beggar boy in his almost-no-clothe, an aged auto driver in his faded-bluish uniform and a young lanky business executive in his business suit. But was it all? Were they only beggar-driver-professional trio? The Rainlover didn’t believe it… to him, it was boy-man-young man trio there! Three were having a great treat time filled with jokes, smile, laughter and total carefree attitude! Pav Bhaaji is incomplete without lassi! After finishing his lassi in a hurry, Raja burped badly…. The Rainlover and the auto-driver (Mangal) started laughing…. Raja quickly recovered and joined! After a while, unknowingly, Mangal also burped! All started laughing…. Raja was almost falling from his chair… The trio went back, dropped Raja back at his business-place and headed towards the Rainlover's place… it was almost dark when the Rainlover reached his home. The auto stopped, the Rainlover paid, shook hands and turned back… then Mangal said, 'Thank you!' The Rainlover smiled and meaning his words, he uttered - 'Thank you!'
Hi Friends, It Seems - I'm Back! |