11am, July, 2005

He was inside the elevator… on his wheelchair… smiling!  He asked, “Are you new?” I said, “Good guess!” He asked, “Do you want to meet somebody?” I said, “My sister!” He asked, “Why are you talking to me?” I said, “Because, you want me to….” He asked, “Are you gay?” I said, “No… why?” He replied, “Just a time pass question.” I frowned, “Are you alright, my friend?” He laughed, “Does my wheelchair say so?” I shrugged off and moved out of the elevator on the 2^nd floor of this campus of Calcutta University. By the noise behind, I could make out that the wheel-chair guy also was coming out of the elevator.

Anyhow, it took me some 10 minutes to figure out my Bonu’s (sister’s) classroom. When I went inside, I could see some 10 boys and girls gossiping. Bonu spotted me with an instant shout, “Bhaida, bhalo hoyeche esechis. Janis … (Brother, good that you’ve come. You know what….)” Oh yeah, that’s typical SHE – she has always something “You know what…” in store for me! After I heard ‘what happened’, I could see the wheelchair guy coming inside the class… this time I half-heartedly started, “You know what… this guy…” Bonu grabbed my hand and took me to a corner of that large classroom. She said, “Shhh… don’t talk about him.” I nodded without understanding. Instantly a voice came, “Oh, that’s your sister? Cool! Arita, won’t you introduce US to your brother?” Reluctantly, Bonu said, “Hi everybody, this is my dear Bhaida. And Bhaida, these are my friends.” Even before I could finish my shy ‘Hi’, the wheelchair guy smirked, “And I’m Tanmoy.” I was confused by his over excitement, yet managed a “Hi Tanmoy” somehow. Tanmoy came forward with his wheelchair and said, “You know I’m not a gay.” Everybody was laughing. I managed, “Good news… congratulations!” Tanmoy laughed, “Hey, you are a funny man! Can we be friends?”

“Sure!” I said. We shook hands.

7pm, July, 2005

My cell phone rang – it was an unknown number. I picked up, “Hello!” Other side spoke, “Tanmoy this side. Where are you, man?” Surprised, I said, “I’m near Park Street… why?” He said, “Take the Metro, come to Tollygunj… my car is near the metro station. You’re my guest tonight… ahan, don’t deny, you won’t forget this night ever. See you in 20 mins.” I was perplexed. He had kept down the phone! I, with hesitation called Bonu up and asked, “Hey, is this Tanmoy guy a gay? He wants me to go to his place now? Is he alright?” Bonu mocked, “Or do you wanna know if he is SAFE?” I said, “Shut up, what should I do?” She went on smiling, “Don’t worry! You won’t forget this night ever!” I was wondering, what is this… a game or something? But somehow I managed to convince myself and within 10 minutes I could see myself at the Park Street metro station’s booking counter asking the window man, “One Tollygunj please…”.

I entered inside the Santro to see Tanmoy smiling…. On his way, I remember myself asking, “What is it all about?” and Tanmoy replying, “Don’t worry! You’ll not forget this night ever!”

Tanmoy’s rich dad head the reflection of his money all over the house… so damn polished. He didn’t speak to anyone present in the house… he domestic help took us to his room and he asked, “Whiskey is cool with you?” I nodded. He ordered, “Kamal-da, whiskey for two of us. Leave it here and please close the door once you’re done.” He read the sense of doubt on my eyes and said, “Don’t worry, I told you, I’m not gay… relax!” I gave a smile of relief.

He went on showing me all his paintings and writings… his explanations reached touched me. What a great talent, confided into a wheelchair… yet I managed to keep my sympathy to myself… and after some 4 pegs, he spoke what he wanted to say for so long, “What the fuck man! Why the hell it has to happen to me? What’s my fault? Every damn fucking person I meet has sympathy for me. I mean, do I deserve it or what? Can’t I be treated like a normal human being? Why the boys I meet have to sound over mannered with me? Why the girls I meet have to so fucking easy-going with me? Why the elders I meet always have to praise me for the talent I’ve? Why? Why? Is it all because my dad fucked my mom when he was drunk and I was created by that? Is that what I deserve to get?”

There was a long yet comfortable silence after this and then I finally said, “Let’s paint together.” His silence said it all and we painted…. and we named it, WINGS!

11pm, 11^th September, 2008.

Bonu was crying on the other side of the phone. I went on asking, “What’s wrong my dear? Tell me… please… please, tell me!” After she was done, I didn’t know what to say. I heard her saying, “Yesterday, Tanmoy died of a heart attack! They burnt him today.” Then I heard Tanmoy’s saying, “You’ll not forget this night… ever!” Tanmoy, my friend, you’re right!

I know saying sorry isn't enough.... but sorry friends, got really tied up! I'll try to be regular... Hope all of you are having a great time!