'You see, when I leave the shop, then many customers will leave with me! They won't come to this shop anymore!' – This is the only sentence that I wish my father wouldn’t have said! The only one! But now I don’t blame him anymore.. That day was tough. He had supported a 11 members’ family with this shop in his hands only, he arranged two of his sisters marriages with this shop only, he build a new home with this shop only. When he was just 12, he started working in this shop with his father. Side by side, he completed his studies. After his graduation (that was a good old time when a graduate was a ‘spectacle’ in the whole area) Government people came and requested him to get into a teacher’s job. His high headed father smirked, ‘Job, eh! Naukri? Would you like to be Naukar (servant) to others? Come, and take this shop to places. This is your own business!’ My father’s eyes were full of dreams.. a sentence kept floating again and again ‘This is your own business!’

Yeah, he did well in that business. Single-handedly my father gave that shop a shape that his father could never imagine. But nothing remains the same as time progresses! Time took a turn. My uncle grew up, I was barely 10 then, my sister was 14 and my brother was 6 years old. Uncle never studied, he wanted a job. My father took him to the shop, he worked for a while and one fine morning came up with a sentence – ‘I feel like a servant in this shop.’ His father (my grandfather) was in jeopardy! Now this son wants his sovereignty, his aspirations, and his own family! So? So kick the old ass!

I still remember that morning; I was busy in my homework. I heard elders were talking in loud voice. I looked up, my mother started at me and I took my eyes down. Then again I looked up, saw my brother was silent and my sister was crying. Without any clue of the happenings around, I heard those words, ‘You are a thief!’ said my grandfather. It was my father at the receiving end! I rushed and halted. I looked at my father, silently listening to the poisonous speech of his father. That day my father went to the shop for the last time. He took me with him. There he smilingly worked, listened to everyone’s talks, gossiped, smiled, laughed and at night he cried! He cried, my mother cried, my sister cried, my brother cried – but I was just observing these people to break down. Then came the line - 'You see, when I leave the shop, then many customers will leave with me! They won't come to this shop anymore!'

This is a sentence that I didn’t find justified! Not because it was a ‘brother’s statement against a brother’, more because it was my father who said this – he never was a person to let such a comment out of him. But that is the ONLY sentence that doesn’t justify the person he is! Rest everything says volumes about the ideal man of my life – silent, smiling, soft-spoken, joking, sincere, active, loving, honest, hard-working, incisive, guiding, and encouraging.

He is a man who always repeated these words into my ears – ‘Remember son, never do or wish anything bad for anyone. You are not justified to even wish someone’s harm. God is there to look after them. You just serve everyone.’ In those long afternoons, I used to lay down beside my father, with my one leg over him, and used to keep watching him. At night, I was the one to fall asleep before everyone. But my father would come home and would wake me up, would take me in his arms and would bring me to the dinner place. Then reluctantly, I will sit on his lap with eyes closed, and he will make balls of rice and vegetables and will say – ‘Amar bhalo chele key?’ (Who is my good boy?) I would frown in the sleep, will throw hands and legs, but he will keep asking, ‘Bhalo chele key?’ After a while, I will shout Amieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee (Meeeeeeeeeeeeee) and the long ‘eeeeeeeeeeeee’ would open my mouth wide and he would put the tasty food inside!

Father, now your ‘bhalo chele’ has grown up, don’t know he’s ‘good’ anymore or not, but he salutes you. You never forced anything on me, you never supported when I did something wrong, you were never far when I needed your arms, you were never busy when I wanted to listen to stories, you had no work when I wanted to go anywhere with you, you had no sleep when I had board exams, your hands never ached (even after a whole day’s of hard work) while fanning me when I was studying at night, you never ran out of ideas when I wanted to discuss something, you never felt yourself to be older when I wanted to dance with you in the rain, you never were short of enthusiasm when I needed encouragement – You are the man who silently taught me the most important learning of life – LEAD BY AN EXAMPLE!

Father, these days when I stay back at office at night under the pressure of huge work, and your calls come asking how I am, how health is and whether I’ve had dinner - I know, while replying, I sound a bit irritated. I feel bad to sound like that! I know you feel bad too... but I know it fully well that you know, just after keeping down the phone, I pause and your smiling face comes up, I say, ‘I’m sorry.’ And you say – ‘Amar bhalo chele key?’ (Who is my good boy?)

-I LOVE YOU!             

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FRIENDS, I KNOW I'M IRREGULAR. MY SCHEDULE HAS GONE BEYOND MY CONTROL. BUT AMIDST ALL THESE THINGS IF THERE'S ANY ONE THING THAT I FEEL GREAT ABOUT - IT'S THE WAY YOU CARE FOR ME! THANKS FOR YOUR WISHES AND QUESTIONS - MOST OF THEM ARE UNANSWERED, BUT AT DEAD NIGHTS, WHEN I CHECK THESE AND REALISE HOW MUCH FEW PEOPLE CARE FOR ME EVEN WHEN THEY DON'T KNOW ME THAT WELL, I FEEL FORTUNATE! THANKS FOR YOUR LOVE! AND I'M SORRY~